Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

Puckman — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 06:16:21 GMT

I agree. Yin & Yang. Opposites attract those that "complete them" and strengths and/or weakness that compliment them or need to be covered by their partner.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

SoulSearcher — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:03:29 GMT

What's the difference bewteen a weed and a flower? A judgement. I believe too many people take things at face value and don't understand the oportunity that is before them after a door closes. There are people living in a loving world and people living an a hateful world. It's the same world. A person can become better from disaster, and others become worse. What's the difference? Attitude. Everything, and I mean everything can either make us better or worse. Every problem is an oportunity to learn, love and grow, or a chance to become more ignorant, hateful & die while they're still alive. Most people don't realize what reality behind everything. So most of the comments in here are the result.

Is loyalty -- devotion to highest duty -- desirable? Then we must carry on amid the possibilities of betrayal and desertion.

Is unselfishness -- the spirit of self-forgetfulness -- desirable? Then we must live face to face with the incessant clamoring of an inescapable self for recognition and honor.

Is pleasure -- the satisfaction of happiness -- desirable? Then we must live in a world where the alternative of pain and the likelihood of suffering are ever-present experiential possibilities.

Yield and overcome;
Bend and be straight;
Empty and be full;
Wear out and be new;
Have little and gain;
Have much and be confused.
Going forward seems like retreat ...
For one gains by losing
And loses by gaining.
Truth often sounds paradoxical.

This happened in the last two months. I had an employee who wanted my job bad enough to lie to my boss and cast doubt on me. I said fine, you can have the job and got another one within the week. I treated everyone respectful and lovingly leaving the job. Now I have a job that pays more, is closer, and they show all the qualities that I showed in my last job to me now. Explain that.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

SoulSearcher — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:01:03 GMT

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

seg — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:19:10 GMT

This article is a great guide for most of us, but we have to view it with "an open mind", if it's going to have any positive effect. We are all unique and at some point in time during our lives have been subjected to some form of abuse ( some a whole lot more than others) be it abusive spouses, parents, people in authority etc.etc.
Scrolling quickly through the comments i see many of us have been subjected to a lot of negativity/abuse at some point in time and while we cannot change the past, i know there are tools out there to help us through trying times and difficulties, but we have to want to change and a good step is to learn how to let go of these stressors (we must), so we can begin the complex process of healing - DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF YOUR MIND IN THIS REGARD.

In today's world there's so much negativity around us, it's like panning for gold, you have to sift through so much rock and sand before you get a little piece of gold, so to in LIFE you have to sift through a lot of garbage in order to reap any positive rewards.

Whilst it's easier said than done, i believe the first step is to identify your stressors and learn to let go, be honest with yourself and love ones, believe and want to change, employ tools like EFT, prayer and articles like this is also a very good start and remember give it TIME.
Best to all...

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

nikkie — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:08:54 GMT

I absolutely agree with Graywolf. We all have our own perceptions. My purple is not the same as anyone elses purple. We all se purple but no-one has the right to say my way of seeing it is wrong because this is my reference, my perception. Therefor, I believe it is imperative not to stand in judgement at all. Not of ppl, not of situations and least of all - yourself!

Call it 'New Age', 'woo-woo', rubbish, it's fine, it is your perception but, keep in mind the perceptions of others. The Law of Attraction is true and powerful. Do not underestimate the power of your thoughts and then blame 'Karma' when shit hits the fan!

There is a wonderful saying, one that I live by: "What you put into the world, comes back into your own" I choose to put thoughts of acceptance, non-judgement and compassion into my universe. And if it is all hocus-pocus, at least my thoughts makes me feel good because good thoughts raises your vibrations and raised vibrations brings consciousness of the here and now. It is a bit more involved than these few words but this will suffice.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

aromaremedies — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 01:12:37 GMT

No, I was not a louse too. My ex was a selfish narcissist with bipolar disorder, with mood disorder and nasty meanness. No matter how much I gave and I went through tons of money on him over time..it was never enough nor was the affection, admiration, caring for his health, yet we had an undeniable mutual passion. He proved to be a sex addict, a spending addict, a three pack a day habit addict, a bottomless pit for attention and worship. He was gorgeous but self hating and took his moods and negativity out on me and others. His brain is sicker than I knew or wanted to know...No I was not a louse, I was hungry for his love and put up with crap like many women would do just to be with him. Picasso proved to be a real son of a b also. I was going outwith a man much like him..a genius but a moody, neurotic and ultimately dangerous jerk who is now doing "anger management" he will need more than that. Misogyny is the order of the day in these times worse than ever...we need to question what THAT is all about. I certainly have my thoeries about why men are so angry and hateful towards women. This article says nothing about women who stay with mentally ill men who are abusive. Just that louses found each other. B.S>!!!

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

saynotoquacks — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:59:38 GMT

This article is SO WRONG it is dangerous. There are some people who don't have a conscience. They are called sociopaths. It doesn't matter how you treat these people, they are unable to feel emotion, so they can do anything to you--control you, manipulate you, gaslight you, even kill you. No, you have to judge people. Does the person show feelings toward you that are sincere? Does the person use words like "love" and "beautiful" and other emotional words when speaking, or do they avoid words of emotion? If a person doesn't show any emotion, they may be a sociopath.

My favorite aunt who helped raise me is the kindest, gentlest, most loving and compassionate woman I've ever met. She married a sociopath who beat her and almost murdered her. He killed her child while she was pregnant with it. I can't imagine that this beautiful woman treated him with anything but love and kindness. That's what she got for it.

"Avoid fools, sinners, and people of a greedy nature."--Ayurvedic rule of conduct

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

Duparc — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:42:48 GMT

Thirty-three replies which collectively surely proves the point of the research findings. I was happily married for 45 years until my wife passed over owing to BC. A year later I met another woman and I am back into a happy marriage. I am an agnostic. I had a primary education only. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally abused as a child, yet I am a confident, optimistic, successful, without hangovers from my childhood except that the experience tended to hinder my progress socially but never did I harbour thoughts of succumbing.

My present wife was abandoned by her parents and placed in the care of a children's home. Later she was adopted by a middle-class family where her adoptive mother was an alcoholic and physically and mentally abused her She was born to fail and subsequently had two unsuccessful marriages. When we met she was an ill woman but the chemistry between us was right. She was a pessimist and a depressive and brought into the relationship a baggage of trauma, fear, inappropriate reactions that exacerbated her problems and alienated herself from others. At the first sign of distress she wanted to run away, that was, until I took hold of her and said, "You are not going anywhere girl; you are staying here and we are going to resolve this difference"! Having previously been a 'battered wife' the response was not what she had expected. While the past still affects her, she is, however, probably 95%+ improved in all respects. She has improved because I love her to bits and care about her deeply. Living with her has had its difficulties but she brings joy to my life and behind those scars of her past there is this lovely woman who is more in evidence today. The happiness we find in each other is because I believe in her and she believes in me and I was determined to make the sacrifice and put in the effort to make the relationship succeed. I did not run nor turn away; end of story!

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

stp43 — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:40:55 GMT

Define treatintg your spouse " kindly " . All too often, this is a point of contention in a relationship. Sometimes the " wants " of one are repulsive to the other.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

moo_203 — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 15:10:05 GMT

ha ha ha ha ha ha ..................

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

zippos — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:30:37 GMT

I run a recovery program for abused people and I strongly disagree with the finding.

People are abused because the person they have chosen to live with or be with IS AN ABUSER.

I was left to wonder what world the people from Yale lived on and what group of people they did their research from.

With this kind of attitude you have made the victims of abuse the victim all over again. Someone needs to wake up and start living in the real world.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

www.TheHealthyGlow — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:10:12 GMT

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re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

Russ Bianchi — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 17:58:26 GMT

Nice THEORY, but my experience of 16 years of marriage, thus far, does NOT correlate to the conclusions presented.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too

Maj_203 — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 01:14:40 GMT

After reading the article and its replies over, I see a lot of misunderstanding.

What the article says has nothing to do with how third parties see their friends' relationships. It talks strictly about how people's behavior patterns cause them to see other people's actions in the same light. And really... The Law of Attraction is just semantics here.

If I said that optimists tend to see other people and their actions positively, while pessimists tend to see other people and their actions negatively, very few people would disagree. Why? Because that's what the words optimist and pessimist mean.

Yet, all of a sudden, when someone else mentions this Law of Attraction, it's new-age mumbo jumbo, rather than a big, fat "duh."

The Law of Attraction is a tool for teaching yourself to become an optimist (you could use it to become a pessimist, I suppose, but I have no idea why anyone would actually want to do that). It doesn't have to have any scientific explanation other than: Optimists - by definition - tend to see the good side in everything that happens to them, regardless of how bad other people think it is.

Optimists are the people who go in for open heart surgery and say things like, "Well, it could always be worse. I could have been one of those pioneers who carried everything they owned in a hand cart across the country" (true story). No matter how awful I think having your chest sawed open and then stapled shut might be, an optimist sees the bright side.

People tend to interpret the world - and that includes a spouse's behavior - through the lens of their own attitudes and actions. The article goes one step further by adding that instead of complaining and trying to change your spouse's behavior, you should start by changing your own.

re: Is Your Partner a Louse? Chances are, You are Too