If you think nobody likes you, think again: Research shows that many of us fail to realize just how much even strangers appreciate our company. We all can underestimate what others think of us, Scientific American says, and one reason is because we’re often harsher on ourselves than others are. If you want to feel a little more liked, all it takes is a bit of conversation to get the feelings of happiness, joy and comfort to follow.
This is clearly a tale of how negative emotions can take over your life, even to the point of adversely affecting your health. The good news is that, just as clearly, if you make up your mind to be more aware of your surroundings and the people with whom you come in contact, you can turn the negatives into positives very quickly. Begin with putting down your cellphone, then move right on in to one-on-one conversation with whomever else is in the room.
Another way to improve your mental and emotional outlook is to practice mindfulness, meaning you’re actively paying attention to the moment you’re in right now — and if you’re having that conversation I just mentioned, this means not looking at your cellphone even if it dings or rings.
Coupled with other relaxation techniques, mindfulness s something you can do anywhere, anytime — even in social situations where you erroneously assume that you’re an outsider that nobody likes. To get started, set aside a half-hour or so a day just to be “aware” and work with the quietness of your mind as you direct awareness, and then work toward using mindfulness throughout your day.
This will help you move on toward happiness-boosting rituals that can take you out of depressing feelings that make you feel alone and unliked. The bottom line is perception is everything. Like the featured article asserts, it’s your belief about what’s happening that upsets you — not the actual event itself.
To this end, since some of the greatest contributors to unhappiness is our wants and desires, regardless of whether they can be fulfilled or not, learning gratitude for what you have can help you be happy with both yourself and your life — and ultimately help with your relationships with others. Studies show that people who are thankful for what they have are better able to cope with stress, have more positive emotions and less anxiety, sleep better and have better heart health.